Life With A Princess

Let me just give you a small taste of my life. I was awakened this morning at 7 am (which is a time by the way that I still find offensive, even after years of being a parent) to the sound of my daughters voice saying, "Mommy, we have to find me a country to run." She said it in a very matter of fact kind of way. As if she were saying, "Mommy, we need to go and buy me some new shoes." But no. It is a country that she is in search of , and she holds the strongest conviction that her idea is absolutely possible. Let me explain. We had just watched "The Princess Diaries" and in the movie a young girl finds that her father, who she never met, was actually the crowned prince of a small country called Genovia. In the movie the young girl must choose whether she will accept her title and assume her place of royalty in this small beautiful country. Oh my, but did I have dreams like that when I was young! And I sat up and looked at her and my stomach just lurched. I remember when I thought that such dreams could come true. If I only wished hard enough! And then the awful pain and disappointment of finding out what a wretched, depraved world we really have came crashing down. And all of the lightness of being that had made me run through life without ever really touching the ground disappeared and I knew fear and hurt and betrayal. Right now, Dylan is a princess. There is no disputing it. And I affirm it. And I say things like, "Being a princess is ultimately a state of being. It has to do with the way one behaves and treats others." And I remind her with my brightest smile that because God in heaven is our father, and the King of Kings, that we are true royalty, even if we don't get to run small beautiful countries and live in palaces. But honestly, that doesn't even satisfy me. I still wish I could give her something right now. I wish that she didn't have to grow up and see this world in such a mess. Oh yeah, I know that in heaven it will all be great and worth it, blah, blah, blah. But she is six. And she sees the part of the world that is not broken. And I wish that she could just go on doing that - for my sake. You see, I will have to be there when her heart breaks and it all comes into focus, and today that is just a bitter pill to swallow. I suppose that after all is said and done, I will just have to enjoy my life with this princess right now. And one day, when the veil is lifted, I pray that she falls into the arms of Jesus and rides the rest of the way to heaven seeing things through the Fathers eyes. Yeah, when I buck up, I know how it has to go. It's just that today, I wish there were new countries to find. Just today..